Day 29 - making excuses not to move myself

So these past few weeks have been very unproductive and blowed off. I spent allot of time just blowing off time by drinking, smoking pot, sleeping allot, watching videos on YouTube. I see that nothing ever came from doing this, and now I'm having to start moving again to get myself working out n what needs to be done, like my blogging and vloging, exercise, getting a job, my music, and whatever else needs to be attended to do.

I've usually came up with excuses not to move myself - either I told myself that I didn't have the energy, or because I'm coming off my medications, or because it's simply too much work.

So today I'm starting with some actions, which blogging being the first.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make excuses to not walk my process, along with taking care of other responsibilities, as well as working on physical goals for myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that it's "too much work", or "I don't have the energy", without seeing that these are simply excuses to not work with on myself, and are procrastination mechanisms to keep myself docile, and stuck in only entertaining my mind with drugs, alcohol, sleep, watching videos.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not understand that I must take self responsibility in order to support my journey to life, and the desteni group, in bringing a world that is best for all, which doesn't come by only laying around and fucking off time.

When and as I see myself wanting to go int laziness, and blow off time, I stop, I breath, and I start moving with activities, work, and all things required to support myself, and others.

I commit myself to make a schedule around a job, and as well without a job, that moves myself into profession, and where I am consistently working on myself, and supporting what's best for all life.