so today I went to the music store, and started playing on the guitars and the amps that I wanted. I was playing some intervals and rifts that I've been learning, and started being excited about how well I was playing compared to how I've recently been playing before. So it was a fun experience, but then I started saying to myself "I'm still not good enough". So it's like, even though I'm playing music, I'm not being HERE with what I'm playing, and actually enjoying it, yet telling myself "still not 'as good'".
Now there's nothing wrong with knowing I could be better, but I need to understand that It's the journey as a musician/artist that counts, and not expecting anything more than what I'm playing in that moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm not a good enough guitar player when I play, out of the judgement that others are better, and therefor that somehow doesn't make me a worthy Enough musician/artist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being a great musician, as something aligned with my worthiness as a musician, rather than being grateful, and happy with how well I play now, and how fun the journey is going to be from now until I die as a musician/artist.
I see and realize that I should be easy on myself, and grateful that I play what I play, and express what I express, as well as being enthused about what will come in the future, such as my potential in colleges, or bands, or meeting other musicians.
I commit myself to be here as breath with expressing music, as well as working towards small step goals that I can be grateful for as a musician/artist.
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