Day 31 - The resistance to commiting to action

          Today I recognized a problem within myself that I have when it comes to commiting to a schedule, activity, chore, job, or just anything in general that requires my participation. What I notice is that I get stressed easily when I'm on a busy schedule, because usually I'm ao used to sitting on my ass and not doing anything but fulfill mental pleasures that I use to escape my existence/reality.


          I ended up sleeping for 3 hours when I noticed that I was getting very stressed out. I made the feeling and experience of stress into this physical tiredness. So I waisted 3 hours getting unecessary sleep, and therefor throwing off my schedule of tasks I needed to do.


          The main pattern of thoughts and experiences that came up was the definition of - this is too much, because I'm so used to not doing anything that this chore, or activity takes too much effort from me. So this pattern tended to make my movement in what I was doing more exshausting.


SELF FORGIVENESS STATEMENTS:
          I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have resistance to tasks, and therefor make it harder on myself to complete them, with the pattern of thoughts, and experiences of - this is too much, I'd rather lay down, or just chill.


          I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to generate these thoughts and experiences from old patterns/habits of not sticking to commitments of completing a task at my best ability, and slacking off from taking self responsibility in what requires my physical participation.


          I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge the experience of physical effort as "bad" because I have built an addiction to pleasure, which I've related to not taking responsibility, and not physically moving myself and working on something physical that benifits me and others.


SELF COMMITMENT STATEMENTS:
          When and as I see myself experiencing resistance to tasks when telling myself "this is too much, I stop, breath, and I take a 2 minute break, and focus on the vision of what I want, and what I know is best, and then go back to the task with more clarity and confidence.


          I commit myself to develop confidence, consistency, and effectiveness in tasks, and what I participate in to achieve goals, and responsibilities.