day 18 - expecting my body to be aesthetic (ass-the-tic)

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect my body to be aesthetic (ass-the-tic).

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect my body to be aesthetic (ass-the-tic) because I want to appear as "sexy" to women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to appear sexy to women, because I want to control women.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to control women with "being aesthetic", because I define "aesthetic" as strength, when not seeing and realizing that I am afraid to have principled strength, and there for compensate the lack of building best for all principles with building/destroying my body, to appear strong, and sexy. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not actually be willing to be principled for what's best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to appear sexy or physically strong, when not seeing and realizing that I am not actually strong with merely having an aesthetic body, and only intend on abusing others, by creating this model appearance, that has nothing to do with who I really am, and the actual potential that I can recreate myself with, for what is best for all life, and not what is only best for my self interest.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look in the mirror to see if my body is "aesthetic".

When and as I see myself looking in the mirror to see if my body is "aesthetic", I stop, and breath, and go write doqn, or speak one principle that I'm lacking, and then to speak self forgiveness for lacking that principle.

I commit myself to then always put the tip of my thumb, on the tip of my pointer finger, and always speak that one principle I'm lacking every time I want to go look at my body in the mirror.