Day 24 - judging myself and trying to hold back my behaviors/expressions

So here's this tendency I have where I will try to suppress my expressions in fear of other people seeing them. I have this automatic fear of something had happening to me, and therefor express myself in this limited state.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my expressions and behaviors, because I fear something had happening to me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back from expressing myself to other people, and within this separating myself from people, out of this fear, and therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself in my expressions, to face myself around others, yet not be all spontaneous and go on overdrive with my expressions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor fear others expressing themselves, because I want o control others to express themselves to my level, and therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge others expressions, and then react to others expressions, and then either isolate myself, or give others a hard time about their expressions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself myself to limit myself in expression, because I fear what others will think of me, as crazy, or fear them seeing my points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to suppress my expressions with self medicating, and therefor, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with medications, and therefor create a limited expression around others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility for myself, and therefor see and realize that I've depended on medications to suppress my reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my thoughts, and behaviors, and therefor fear being expressive with myself.

When and as I see myself holding back my expressions, I stop, and breath, and track back to what I'm focused on in responsibilities, and then to as well talk to people, and those around me, to expose myself, and take practical responsibility with forgiving myself on these points.

I commit myself to study desteni material, n line with what I have to face.